A Tribute to Phillip
I knew him well, but I really didn’t know him at all. I didn’t stop to think about this until he died suddenly last week. I didn’t realize either how much his simple life had impacted mine — how much I loved him. His name was Phillip; he was almost 47 years old but his mind was 7. I have no idea where he was born, or anything about his family. He lived in a group home for those who needed assistance. Forrest Gump would be an apt description of Phil. His life was simple but he knew the whole town and he knew who was special to you and he would update you on their lives.
A conversation might go like this: “Debbie? Her sad, her car broke.” And we would talk about Debbie. He would call across campus to me. I couldn’t be in a hurry with Phillip, he didn’t understand that. He was never in a hurry. He was at every event in town – greeting and loving. Phil’s love and life brought out the best in that little Texas town. When our kids would visit their “Texas Parents” after we moved, he would always ask about us. “Where your dad? Where your mom?” Then he would want to know why weren’t we there? When would we come to see him? Every time the kids called they would relay Phil’s remarks – always the same.
Wednesday afternoon I wasn’t at his funeral in Keene, but my heart was. I wish I could have seen the fire truck carry his casket through the streets of Keene, siren screaming, as it made its way to that dusty graveyard. I wish I could have told him once more how much I loved him. I didn’t realize how much his simple life impacted a whole generation that passed through Keene. Within three days of his death more than 500 people had joined the facebook page set up in his honor. People – important people with big busy jobs, flew back or drove for 100s of miles to attend his services.
I wish you could have known Phillip, but you do. We all have Phils in our lives – and in heaven it won’t take Phil long to meet you – to find out about you and then you will love him too.
Living for Eternity
11:11 A Love Story
I have been trying to be more sensitive to God’s voice the last couple of years. I’m slow…But He is patient. Let me give you an example.
Have you ever made a wish when you looked at a digital clock and saw 11:11? Or heard someone say, “Its 11:11, make a wish!”? Well, I wish for a lots of things – world peace, an end to hunger, to have my bills paid – but I didn’t ever make those wishes when it was 11:11. I would just say. “Oh, God, I wish you would come soon.” That was my top wish.
I am slow, so it took about a week for me to realize I was seeing 11:11 every day, sometimes twice! Then I caught on. God is loving to hear me wish I was with Him in heaven! I started enjoying this little game God was playing with me. Completely by accident I would look up and it would be 11:11. It always brought a smile to my face, because He prompted me to look at the clock at that time. I finally just started saying “I love you too!”
Then I began to doubt, realizing that you can probably teach your brain time. I was afraid I had taught myself internally to know when it was 11:11. I told God I didn’t think it was Him. His grace showed me differently.
Several days later I realized I hadn’t seen 11:11 for a long time. I was sad and a little miffed. So I decided I’d try to watch for it. At 11:09 or 11:07 I’d tell myself to watch the clock so I could see 11:11.
I’d miss it. Something would distract me. I couldn’t make myself see 11:11. I told Him I got the picture.
My noticing 11:11 was a gift from Him – it was all about Him. He was the only reason I was seeing 11:11. I had nothing to do with it.
He went even further to prove it was Him. I would be in one room and the clock would say 11:11. Then I’d go to another room for something a couple of minutes later and see 11:11 on a different clock. (My clocks don’t all say the same time ever.) He was showing me He loved me! He wanted to hear me say “I love You back” – one more time.
Then this little game went further. We were traveling from the east to the west. I checked my cell phone, it was 11:11. I smiled, because I realized we had crossed the time line and it was wrong. It was really 10:11. But God had showed me He loved me. Sometime during that hour I got a call and my phone reset to the local time. I went about my life and for some reason checked my phone a few minutes later and it was 11:11. God really wanted me to know He loved me that day!
Some days are like that. He finds extra ways to show me His love. I will be cooking in the kitchen and glance at the oven timer. There will be 11 minutes and 11 seconds left for something to bake – He wanted me to know He loves me. I pulled up behind a bus at a stop light one day and the number on the bus was 1111. It was just God saying “I want to hear you say, ‘I love you too.’”
The cell phone incident made me realize that it is 11:11 in some time zone every hour. I started seeing 5:11 or 7:11. This was amazing to me. God really wants me to know how much He loves me! He wants to see me smile at our little secret and hear me say, “I love you back.” “I love you too!”
Then something happened. I started just missing 11:11. I’d look at the clock and it would say 11:12. I was hurt. It would be 12 hours before I would even have the chance to see 11:11 again. Didn’t He want me to see 11:11? What was with that? Why had he quit being faithful? What was going on? Why was He late? I didn’t want to miss seeing 11:11. But it was happening repeatedly. Why wasn’t He being faithful?
It was at that minute He spoke to me. ‘You know that one minute ago it was 11:11. You didn’t see it, but you know that 60 seconds before 11:12 it is 11:11. That ALWAYS happens. Just because you didn’t see it, doesn’t mean it wasn’t 11:11. That is how it is with my love. Just because you are going through your day and don’t see it – or are too busy and miss it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.’ WOW!
I hope next time you see 11:11 or 5:11, 3:11 or 9:11 you pause and say to God, “I love you too.”
Absurd Living
I was reading the book “Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith” which was compiled posthumously from classes and lectures given by Henri Nouwen. He points out early in the book that “the word absurd includes the word sardus which means ‘deaf.’” Absurd living is living from within ourselves, deaf to the voice of God’s Spirit. Some of us react from our gut, some of us are driven by emotions, some of us actually think and use our mind to guide our actions. It doesn’t really matter which part of us ultimately controls our actions – if we aren’t Spirit controlled we are living “absurd” lives.
So often when I ask people how they are doing with God they reply apologetically, “I’m just so busy, I can’t fit Him in my schedule,” and they proceed to give me their daily schedule. They are right, ours is the age of the hectic. I know it is so hard to keep our hearts and minds on God. To live in His presence throughout the day is a challenge. There are so many activities, so many issues that crowd our mind, distracting our focus; so much preoccupies the space ‘within.’ It is hard for us to hear God because most of us don’t have a lot of ‘sheer silence’ in which to hear Him, so we operate absolutely deaf.
Two sayings came to my attention in the space of a few minutes this week. The first was, “If the devil can’t make you bad, he makes you busy.” The next was “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” Two extremes – two paths leading to the same end – life lived without God.
Nouwen goes on to point out that obedience includes the word ‘audire’ which means ‘listening.’ Lately I have been amazed at the number of times the Bible speaks of the “eyes and ears of our heart.” It refers to having eyes but not seeing and ears but not hearing. I have been asking God to develop my eyes to see and my ears to hear His voice. Obeying a God who is Love is freeing. I don’t want to be so busy that I can’t hear His voice. He is the reason I live. He is my number one priority. I don’t want to live an absurd life.
Living and Listening
