What Part of the Word “Surrender” Don’t You Get?
What part of the word “Surrender” don’t you get? If you are like me, probably about 95%! You might want to stop reading right now because this could mess with your life.
I’ve been asking God to show the parts of my life that I haven’t surrendered to Him. I think I believed that when I became a Christian and got baptized – I had “surrendered.” Remember growing up and attending Evangelistic Meetings, when the “I Surrender All” song was sung? But God has been showing me parts of my life that don’t fall under that “surrendered” category. He is showing me that partial surrender is deadly, because I live under the illusion that I am living a surrendered life and all the while, I am the one controlling every other area of my life!
I continue to hold on very tightly to the things I can control. He has showed me that His plans for me have been stunted because He doesn’t have access to all of me. I’m asking Him to help me trade control for trust. I want to surrender to Him completely because I am learning that I can’t have God on my terms. He is asking for more.
There is a whole list of things I need to surrender – still. Although far from complete, it is what comes to mind as I write these few minutes. A few of the big ones for me have been: Am I willing to tell God that He can do whatever He needs to in the lives of my children to ensure their salvation? (I don’t like to see painful things happen to my kids. I want their lives to be fun and easy.) It has been a struggle in my life to surrender to His hand in following His leading. Am I willing to surrender my finances completely to Him or do I keep some money for my plans? Am I willing to surrender my traditions to Him – what I have always done – what I love to do – what feels comfortable? Do I allow God to move in our church? Or do I need to keep things as they have been? Or change them so they are comfortable for me or fit what I enjoy? Do I surrender my pain to God – physical, spiritual or emotional? What about my anger and hurt? What about my fears and phobias – my pet peeves? What about my reputation? My image? My dreams? My longings? My need to understand – my need for answers about why He is allowing some situation in my life?
Then there are the hurts I have experienced through the years. It is much easier to be angry, hold a grudge or become bitter. I pull away from sources of pain rather than forgive and embrace. Oh, the list could go on. Am I willing to surrender my daily schedule to Him? To allow Him to change my plans? That text in the Bible has been messing with my life lately: “We can make our plans, but God directs our steps.” This is so true – and I have found that surrendering to that direction is much better than fighting it and insisting on my plans – my goals, my desires, my agenda. Surrender is a better position than anger or frustration when things don’t go according to my plans.
Have you ever thought about how different the Bible stories would have been if God’s children had lived surrendered lives? Starting with Eve – she would never have eaten the fruit. Then Cain would have offered a lamb, not food, on his altar. Abraham would have surrendered to God’s promise and not tried in human ways to have a son – Ishmael would never have been born. Jacob would have trusted God and not stolen the birthright that had been promised to him. Israel would not have wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. David would not have slept with Bathsheba. Jonah would have missed that whale ride.
I wonder what would have happened if Israel had surrendered and the beautiful sacrificial system that was given to them as they were rescued from Egypt had not been corrupted? Would Jesus have entered the temple and the High Priest have lifted his knife as Abraham did so long ago – to offer Jesus for our sins? Judas would have never betrayed God’s son. Oh, history would have been so different.
Take a look at those who lived surrendered lives. There’s Joseph in Egypt – refusing to sin with Mrs. Potifer. We have Pharaoh allowing Joseph to store grain. There is Mary surrendering her life to God as she allows the Seed of Almighty God to grow within her. There is Joseph setting aside his reputation and marrying her in spite of apparent scandal. There is Jesus saying, ‘I do nothing except what My Father in heaven tells me to do.’ There is Gethsemane and the cross – the ultimate surrender for us. There are the disciples at Pentecost surrendering to the power of the Holy Spirit. I see Saul, the ultimate control freak, after a life of surrender saying, “I pour my life out as a drink offering.” Wow!
My prayer today is, ‘Oh, God help me to want to ask you to help me to surrender.’ I have to even surrender the act of requesting……you are right – God is still working with me! How about you? Are you allowing Him to show you what you need to surrender? He does it gently – one or two things at a time, in His time.
Justice and Mercy Kiss
Hundreds of years ago
Thousands of miles from here
That event which is the pinnacle of earth’s history
That event which is the cradle of our redemption.
The cross stands on eternity’s timeline
A beacon for all who will look
A lighthouse for the lost
A harbor for ships, storm-tossed.
That rough hewn Roman cross stands on Golgotha’s hill
An instrument of torture – the cruelest death.
On it the Lamb suspended between earth and heaven.
His head crowned with plated thorns.
Spikes pinning His hands and feet to wood, tearing His flesh.
Yet that rough wood that held our Savior, insignificant
Compared to the cup he drank.
Sin no longer mixed with grace.
As the poison entered that perfect body
He became sin itself for our freedom.
There, no tender hand – no gentle touch to ease His suffering.
No caress to comfort – He was alone.
The Lamb of God crucified — death most violent.
Poisoned by sin.
Sin separating Him from the source of life – Love.
He died my death.
As He gasps His last — It is finished.
Nature can no longer stand it.
Earth rages against the death of her Creator.
The sun gives out – it quits shinning.
It is darker than a thousand midnights.
The piercing dark, shattered only by mighty bolts of lightning,
Deafening thunder and violent shaking of the earth.
Great cracks open up in the earth as the Lamb’s blood
From His spear-pierced side spills on the mercy seat.
Justice and Mercy kiss and Grace is born.
Type meets antitype – and thousands of bloody altars vanish into oblivion.
The Lamb hangs silently – no longer breathing.
His great heart has seemingly beat its last.
Our sin is covered.
Our debts cancelled.
Our freedom bought.
Salvation forever secure.
1996
Texting God – by Guest Blogger Stephanie Halvorsen
I am a 20-year-old Union College student. Life as a college student in 2009 is one in which communication is the centerpiece of just about everything we do. My friends and I have mastered the concept of being “in touch”. We as a generation are constantly being criticized for how we communicate. We are accused of no longer knowing how to have, or appreciate, face-to-face conversations. However, I would say that we communicate with each other more than any other generation in the history of this world! We use Facebook, Myspace, IM, video chat, email, texting – the list goes on and on.
We have a million and a half ways of communicating with each other; it has changed the way we begin, as well as maintain friendships and relationships. We can know instantly why someone isn’t in class, if someone is running late to work, who just broke up, whose car just broke down….well, you get the picture.
My generation knows how to pass along information…instantly. We no longer have to meet face to face to work on a group presentation or catch up with an old friend. While face to face time is still incredibly important, when life doesn’t allow time for that, we are still very much “in touch” with each other.
What if we as the body of Christ could be “in touch” with our Savior in the same way? What if we as Christians lived communicating with God? What if we sent Jesus one-liners all day, everyday? What if we prayed without ceasing the way my generation passes along information and stays in touch?
John 15:5-8 states “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers…if you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.”
We have a beautiful Savior who wants us to be “in touch”. He wants us to pray without ceasing, to tell Him about the little things that happen as well as the big things. He wants us to ask Him for help when we need it, to praise Him for the beautiful life He has given us, and He wants to cry with us when we hurt. We have a Savior who wants to bless our lives with an intimate experience with Him. An experience that is stable and constant in a world that is constantly unstable.
So throughout your days, don’t forget to text God. He can’t wait to hear from you.
Do We Trust the Holy Spirit?
Sometimes I wonder why we don’t trust the Holy Spirit. At the very least it seems like we believe that this powerful part of our Triune God needs our assistance.
I wonder what would happen if we kept the most important things, the most important. If we shared the good news that because of a Crucified Carpenter, Heaven can be ours. That there is a God who longs to have us spend eternity with Him and that He wants eternity to start now. If we allow the Spirit to direct our interactions with others, we introduce this God to them with our lives – His Spirit living in us. Then through intercessory prayer we allow the Holy Spirit to lead the transformation process in whatever order His wisdom knows is best for each person.
I know the Holy Spirit works and leads the honest and sincere to the important truths. Ron’s great grandmother lived in a small community in upstate New York in the early 1900’s. She had been reading her Bible and keeping Sabbath already when she heard about our church. No one had told her she should do this – she was led by the Spirit. I believe the Spirit is the safest guide and that the Spirit will convict and empower at the same time.
When we try to tell people what is right or wrong, guilt becomes the motivation. Part of the problem is that we try to tell others that THEY should be doing or not doing the same things WE are doing or are not doing! What is it in us that believes that because we were convicted of something that it is what others should do, too? We are like little kids – we don’t want it to be O.K. for someone else to do something that God has showed us we should not have in our lives. After all – it isn’t fair.
I am afraid that our fears and need for control preclude the Spirit from our lives and our church. What will the Spirit ask us to do? What will our church look like if we don’t insist upon certain beliefs and behavior before people are welcomed officially or through baptism? Do we start out handing people the box and saying this is it – this is what you have to do and believe. What if we started out helping them experience the power of God in their lives teaching them to read and listen to God speak to them through His Word and allow God to lead them in the order that He has planned for them. When we begin a trust relationship with God and His Spirit, we are no longer in control. Becoming ‘good’ or conforming to beliefs by focusing on lifestyle – not Heart style is the wrong focus. When we focus on lifestyle we do it by our power – not needing the Spirit. After all, lifestyle can be controlled to a certain extent – it takes God’s Spirit to change heart style.
I have been spending time each day with various Holy Spirit texts from the Bible, allowing God to speak to me the truth I need to know. What I notice is that the Spirit is not controllable! Strange things happen when the Spirit is at work. Life as it had been changed. I wonder if when we read about the Spirit in the Bible it scares us. We cannot control the Spirit or dictate our terms. But by letting the Spirit be in control, God’s power is unleashed in amazing ways in our lives and by extension, into the lives of those around us. Sounds like Pentecost, huh?!
God is Unfair
I got a call from a lady in another state a couple of days ago. Her life had fallen apart. It really couldn’t have gotten worse unless she had gotten deathly sick and as I listened to her I realized that she might actually welcome that. She had lost almost everything – her husband, her money, her oldest son had died after a long illness, her other children were suffering in different ways. She was left alone struggling financially while her ex- husband had a new, young wealthy wife who had money to burn. She told me through her tears that she had just had a car accident and now was without transportation. She wanted to give up and I couldn’t blame her. Her story was daunting. I listened, I heard pain, betrayal, anger and hurt. It wasn’t fair. No one in their right mind would say she had been dealt a fair hand. She hadn’t. She felt abandoned by God. Why wasn’t He doing something to help her? I could understand her confusion. I didn’t know how I could help her understand that he WAS with her; that because of her circumstances she just couldn’t feel His presence. Her pain was blocking Him from her sight. I wasn’t able to see the big picture and explain to her the purpose. I didn’t understand why she was going through so much suffering even to me it seemed that her life wasn’t fair. It reminded me of a quote I have written in my Bible (source unknown): “We may not always understand God’s way, but because He is Holy we can trust Him.” But how does someone in pain wrap their mind around that belief? I hear similar stories every day, stories of immense pain and evil — stories that have evil people prospering and good people suffering.
It also reminded me of the irony of something that happened on January 15. You remember U.S. Air flight 1549 that landed in the Hudson River on January 14? Well, the next evening, Mic Thurber, Sr. pastor at the Keene SDA Church on the campus of Southwestern Adventist University, and a dear friend of ours, stood in the pulpit at Loma Linda University’s Week of Devotion and held up the USA Today with the picture of all those people standing on the wings of the plane, safe and unharmed. The irony of that experience was that directly behind us sat David and Janet Wilkins, parents of our dear friends, Yvette and Darren Wilkins. David and Janet’s son Monte had died in the Swiss Air Flight 111 that went down over the waters off the coast of Peggy’s Cove on September 2, 1998. In my mind flashed pictures of the flowers I had put on Monte’s grave when we went to Nova Scotia for a camp meeting. Why had God saved every person on the Hudson River flight while all 229 on Flight 111 had lost their earthly life? It wasn’t fair. Also in the audience that night were the parents of a girl who had died from injuries received in a car accident from which both of Mic’s children walked unharmed. His kids came through with hardly a scratch but the other parent’s child had been killed. It wasn’t fair. Life here on this sinful earth is not fair.
Then Mic went on and what he said touched my heart. I can’t say it nearly as eloquently as he did, but the essence of his message was that because of sin, life isn’t fair. People suffer and die and it feels like God isn’t there. But God says to the devil, “If you aren’t going to play fair then neither am I. I’m going to offer salvation to these humans who don’t deserve it. It will be completely free.” And so God made a plan to trump Satan’s unfairness. It is because of God’s unfairness that we who deserve to die in our sins are offered salvation. My friend Mic closed his sermon that evening paraphrasing Ephesians 2:4-9. I’m sure my paraphrase isn’t exactly like Mic’s was but this was the general idea. “But because of His great love for us, God, who is unfair allowed us to live with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by God’s unfairness that you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his unfairness, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by His unfairness that you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.”
We all have different reactions to suffering. They mostly fall into four general categories. Some avoid God, feeling that they can’t trust Him. They often turn to addictions or things to numb their pain. Some go between anger or rage at God and the belief that they deserve what has happened to them. They may try unsuccessfully to find healing in various relationships. Some view life’s losses as a continuation of the abuse that has been theirs throughout life, believing that God is abusive just like others in their early life were. Then there are those who, when they experience tragedy, are aware of their all-powerful, loving God. When pain presses in, they press closer to God and grow through it, living in His presence. The good news in all of this is that God understands where you come from. He knows your pain. His desire is for you to allow Him to be completely unfair in your life by giving you a future life without pain or loss, full of love and glory. . . These present sufferings….
Of Splinters and Beams
When I was working on my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy we were taught to notice what bothered us in others, and then look at ourselves. That was the precursor to learning to catch the dissonance in our client’s stories. We could then gently point out and confront what we Christians call ‘hypocrisy’. I see it all the time now, even when I’m not trying. I’m not sure what happens inside of us, but as soon as I come down on someone about something, as soon as I make a judgment, or criticize – in almost my next move I find myself doing the very thing I was criticizing! It is almost a given. It will probably have a different plot. The masks that are worn might not look the same. But the character remains a constant – me. I think that Jesus knew we would do this when he told us to “judge not lest ye be judged.” And then He gave His illustration about the splinter and the beam in eyes.
Just a quick example of how God reinforced this truth. A couple of Christmases ago when we lived in Washington D.C. my daughter, Stephanie and I were talking about criticism and how it hurts us more than the one we are criticizing. This conversation took place just as we were entering a Kohls. We quickly found what we needed and were standing in a forever line at the check out. Now unless you have been in a large city on the 23rd of December you won’t come near understanding how long we were going to be in that line. I was pretty sure I’d celebrate my March birthday before we were able to leave that store. We watched the line impatiently at first and Steph noticed the cashiers kept yelling at the “next in line,” repeatedly, because “the next in line” weren’t paying attention. She said, “You would think after waiting all this time they would be paying attention and not have to get called two or three times.” Well, an hour and a half later when we finally got to the front of the line we were deep in a conversation and we didn’t notice the cashier trying to get our attention. As she repeatedly yelled at us, we looked at each other and laughed. This little lesson was reinforced again as we were driving home from Kohls in Silver Spring to Takoma Park on Colesville. We were at a light and it turned green. The person in the car in front of us just sat there. Steph tapped on the horn and commented about people needing to pay attention when they are driving. A couple of lights later we were at the front of the line at a red light and found ourselves exclaiming over a new mansion they had just built on the left side of the road. You guessed it. Our light turned green and we sat there. Horns were honking and we looked at each other guiltily as we talked about the two ways God had gently taught us about criticizing and judging.
I haven’t completely learned that lesson. I forget it more often when I am the one criticizing or judging than when someone points out one of my many flaws. That’s when I remember that lesson most easily. I just kind of smile when I get comments from my husband about losing my keys, (see about Buffy) because I know it will just be a matter of time……..I stop mid-smile and pray that when it does happen I will be more than gracious.
A Tribute to Phillip
I knew him well, but I really didn’t know him at all. I didn’t stop to think about this until he died suddenly last week. I didn’t realize either how much his simple life had impacted mine — how much I loved him. His name was Phillip; he was almost 47 years old but his mind was 7. I have no idea where he was born, or anything about his family. He lived in a group home for those who needed assistance. Forrest Gump would be an apt description of Phil. His life was simple but he knew the whole town and he knew who was special to you and he would update you on their lives.
A conversation might go like this: “Debbie? Her sad, her car broke.” And we would talk about Debbie. He would call across campus to me. I couldn’t be in a hurry with Phillip, he didn’t understand that. He was never in a hurry. He was at every event in town – greeting and loving. Phil’s love and life brought out the best in that little Texas town. When our kids would visit their “Texas Parents” after we moved, he would always ask about us. “Where your dad? Where your mom?” Then he would want to know why weren’t we there? When would we come to see him? Every time the kids called they would relay Phil’s remarks – always the same.
Wednesday afternoon I wasn’t at his funeral in Keene, but my heart was. I wish I could have seen the fire truck carry his casket through the streets of Keene, siren screaming, as it made its way to that dusty graveyard. I wish I could have told him once more how much I loved him. I didn’t realize how much his simple life impacted a whole generation that passed through Keene. Within three days of his death more than 500 people had joined the facebook page set up in his honor. People – important people with big busy jobs, flew back or drove for 100s of miles to attend his services.
I wish you could have known Phillip, but you do. We all have Phils in our lives – and in heaven it won’t take Phil long to meet you – to find out about you and then you will love him too.
Living for Eternity
11:11 A Love Story
I have been trying to be more sensitive to God’s voice the last couple of years. I’m slow…But He is patient. Let me give you an example.
Have you ever made a wish when you looked at a digital clock and saw 11:11? Or heard someone say, “Its 11:11, make a wish!”? Well, I wish for a lots of things – world peace, an end to hunger, to have my bills paid – but I didn’t ever make those wishes when it was 11:11. I would just say. “Oh, God, I wish you would come soon.” That was my top wish.
I am slow, so it took about a week for me to realize I was seeing 11:11 every day, sometimes twice! Then I caught on. God is loving to hear me wish I was with Him in heaven! I started enjoying this little game God was playing with me. Completely by accident I would look up and it would be 11:11. It always brought a smile to my face, because He prompted me to look at the clock at that time. I finally just started saying “I love you too!”
Then I began to doubt, realizing that you can probably teach your brain time. I was afraid I had taught myself internally to know when it was 11:11. I told God I didn’t think it was Him. His grace showed me differently.
Several days later I realized I hadn’t seen 11:11 for a long time. I was sad and a little miffed. So I decided I’d try to watch for it. At 11:09 or 11:07 I’d tell myself to watch the clock so I could see 11:11.
I’d miss it. Something would distract me. I couldn’t make myself see 11:11. I told Him I got the picture.
My noticing 11:11 was a gift from Him – it was all about Him. He was the only reason I was seeing 11:11. I had nothing to do with it.
He went even further to prove it was Him. I would be in one room and the clock would say 11:11. Then I’d go to another room for something a couple of minutes later and see 11:11 on a different clock. (My clocks don’t all say the same time ever.) He was showing me He loved me! He wanted to hear me say “I love You back” – one more time.
Then this little game went further. We were traveling from the east to the west. I checked my cell phone, it was 11:11. I smiled, because I realized we had crossed the time line and it was wrong. It was really 10:11. But God had showed me He loved me. Sometime during that hour I got a call and my phone reset to the local time. I went about my life and for some reason checked my phone a few minutes later and it was 11:11. God really wanted me to know He loved me that day!
Some days are like that. He finds extra ways to show me His love. I will be cooking in the kitchen and glance at the oven timer. There will be 11 minutes and 11 seconds left for something to bake – He wanted me to know He loves me. I pulled up behind a bus at a stop light one day and the number on the bus was 1111. It was just God saying “I want to hear you say, ‘I love you too.’”
The cell phone incident made me realize that it is 11:11 in some time zone every hour. I started seeing 5:11 or 7:11. This was amazing to me. God really wants me to know how much He loves me! He wants to see me smile at our little secret and hear me say, “I love you back.” “I love you too!”
Then something happened. I started just missing 11:11. I’d look at the clock and it would say 11:12. I was hurt. It would be 12 hours before I would even have the chance to see 11:11 again. Didn’t He want me to see 11:11? What was with that? Why had he quit being faithful? What was going on? Why was He late? I didn’t want to miss seeing 11:11. But it was happening repeatedly. Why wasn’t He being faithful?
It was at that minute He spoke to me. ‘You know that one minute ago it was 11:11. You didn’t see it, but you know that 60 seconds before 11:12 it is 11:11. That ALWAYS happens. Just because you didn’t see it, doesn’t mean it wasn’t 11:11. That is how it is with my love. Just because you are going through your day and don’t see it – or are too busy and miss it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.’ WOW!
I hope next time you see 11:11 or 5:11, 3:11 or 9:11 you pause and say to God, “I love you too.”
Absurd Living
I was reading the book “Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith” which was compiled posthumously from classes and lectures given by Henri Nouwen. He points out early in the book that “the word absurd includes the word sardus which means ‘deaf.’” Absurd living is living from within ourselves, deaf to the voice of God’s Spirit. Some of us react from our gut, some of us are driven by emotions, some of us actually think and use our mind to guide our actions. It doesn’t really matter which part of us ultimately controls our actions – if we aren’t Spirit controlled we are living “absurd” lives.
So often when I ask people how they are doing with God they reply apologetically, “I’m just so busy, I can’t fit Him in my schedule,” and they proceed to give me their daily schedule. They are right, ours is the age of the hectic. I know it is so hard to keep our hearts and minds on God. To live in His presence throughout the day is a challenge. There are so many activities, so many issues that crowd our mind, distracting our focus; so much preoccupies the space ‘within.’ It is hard for us to hear God because most of us don’t have a lot of ‘sheer silence’ in which to hear Him, so we operate absolutely deaf.
Two sayings came to my attention in the space of a few minutes this week. The first was, “If the devil can’t make you bad, he makes you busy.” The next was “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” Two extremes – two paths leading to the same end – life lived without God.
Nouwen goes on to point out that obedience includes the word ‘audire’ which means ‘listening.’ Lately I have been amazed at the number of times the Bible speaks of the “eyes and ears of our heart.” It refers to having eyes but not seeing and ears but not hearing. I have been asking God to develop my eyes to see and my ears to hear His voice. Obeying a God who is Love is freeing. I don’t want to be so busy that I can’t hear His voice. He is the reason I live. He is my number one priority. I don’t want to live an absurd life.
Living and Listening
